THAT voice

Last Tuesday night Aaron began to run a little bit of a fever, which he continued to run on Wednesday. On Thursday morning he woke up with no fever, but then around 3pm it shot up really high. I called and made him a doctor's appointment for the following day. The diagnosis-strep throat. By the time we got home, Isaac was also running a fever. We called the doctor's office and they called in some medicine for Isaac as well. On friday both boys started antibotics. On Sunday they were both still running fevers nearing 104*.


My boys were sick. We have had one of the longest weeks EVER! I can probally count on one hand the number of hours of sleep I have gotten since last Wednesday. There has been a three year old, most of the time two three year olds, in my arms or on my lap round the clock since Friday. I am exhausted and emotionally spent.


Monday we were back at the doctor's office and both boys were put on a different antibotic. They have begun to feel better...but boy are they cranky!!! Yesterday Aaron hit me. A major no-no! Then within moments little miss Taylor pinched me (she has been pinching alot lately). I am going to be honest here...I cried. A nice long, am I failing as a mother cry.


Last night no-one climbed in my bed. No-one woke up in the middle of the night crying. No-one had to be gotten up and given tylenol. And I slept.


Today, after some rest and with a much clearer head, I realized that I am not failing in the mommy department. I was dealing with a 1 year old who is still learning right from wrong and a three year old who was not feeling well and whom had been spoilt for nearly a week.


Sometimes our children are naughty. Sometimes we get our feelings hurt much too easily. Sometimes, no matter how hard we have tried to instill in them what is right, they choose to do wrong.


We can be so hard on ourselves. I was not the one who behaved badly and yet I was the one bearing the burden of failure. I am not alone in this. Women constantly take on the blame when someone they love chooses to sin. (I'm sure men do it too). 


There is the woman whose husband has an affair, who thinks she was not enough.
The lady whose daughter has an eating disorder, who thinks it is the result of something she said while looking in the mirror at herself.
The mom whose son is addicted to drugs, who thinks his addiction is the result of a lack of attention from her.


The truth is that we are responsible to Christ to be the women, wives, and mothers He instructs us to be. But we are not responsible for the choices those we love make. In Jeremiah 31:29-30 the Lord says this:

“In those days people will no longer say,

‘The parents have eaten sour grapes,
and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’

Instead,everyone will die for their own sin;

whoever eats sour grapes — their own teeth will be set on edge."

We must not bear upon ourselves the sins of others. That is not our calling...it was His. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8.


I was tired, but did not rest. I was drained, but did not open my bible. I needed encouragement, but did not seek it. As a result, I took something that happened to me and allowed it to define me. My child hit me = I'm a bad mom.


It was a lie. And Satan is the deciever (John 8:44). He wants me to believe that I am a bad mom. And if I begin to allow that lie to penetrate my heart, then I will not raise my children in the power of the Holy Spirit that God has bestowed upon me (John 14:26). Satan wants me to believe that I am a failure, because then I will begin to act like one.


Be encouraged women(and men). That voice in your head telling you that you have failed, is the voice of a Liar. And the voice of Truth, well it has something very different to say to you. Truth says "You can do all things"(Phil. 4:13). Truth says "You are beautiful"(Psalm 149:4). Truth says "You are loved"(1 John 4:10).Truth says "You are going to do great things"(John 14:12).


Oh be careful little ears what you hear...