GOD IS STILL GOD

I woke this morning with my mind running through the list of all that I still wanted to get done before Christmas. There are gifts left to buy (I am usually done with my shopping weeks before Thanksgiving), I want to take the children to see the Christmas lights, not the first goody has been baked, I haven't wrapped the first gift, arrangements still need to be made with my father's side of the family regarding when to get together, Taylor has her one year check up on Friday (5 weeks behind schedule, might I add), I canceled my last OB appointment and need to reschedule it soon, and all 3 children need to get flu shots. It's alot to do; and to be quite honest it probally won't all get done. At one time this would have left me feeling overwhelmed and very stressed! But to my surprise, and yours as well I'm sure, I'm not!! So....what's changed? Well in one word...Aaron.


The day (2 months before the boys were due) when the doctor told us that Aaron wasn't growing our world was rocked. Suddendly all of the plans we had been making changed. The two cribs sitting in boxes in what would become the boys room would not get put up that weekend or the next; we knew taking one back down would be too painful.  Suddenly the little boy in our minds running to catch a ball his daddy had thrown, was in a wheelchair. Would the little outfit hanging in my room become the outfit he wore home, or the outfit we would bury him in. Would he talk...walk...breathe on his own? The "what ifs" were endless.


The hour drive from the OB office to the hospital felt like it took an eternity to make; and in alot of ways it did. There is a scripture that says our sufferings lead to perserverance, perserverance to character, character to hope, and that our hope is found in the love of the Holy Spirit, who does not disappoint[Romans 5:3-5]. I think this is usually a rather long process, but for me on this day it was not. My questions did not recieve answers on that drive, my heart still hurt, but I realized something on that drive that impacted me in a most profound way. GOD WAS STILL GOD! He was just as in control at that moment as He had been 2 hours earlier when I excitedly drove to my OB appointment eager to see my little guys on the monitor. He had NOT changed. Everything else had, but He was the same. His love for me was the same. His will for me was the same. His love for Aaron and His will for Aaron had not changed.


Hebrews 12:1-3 says this,"¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." I went from having my eyes fixed on my suffering to having my eyes fixed on Jesus. And when our eyes are fixed on Him things take on a different perspective. This morning, my eyes were fixed on Him. All the silliness that fills my days and keeps me so busy weren't so important.


It's funny how the very thing that gets you through those insanely difficult times is the same thing that gets you through the everyday craziness as well. He is the God of the big and the small. Stay focused! And remember GOD IS STILL GOD!




[It occured to me after having typed this that not all of you may know me or Aaron. Just to catch you up, Aaron will be 3 years old in about 3 months. He has no developmental delays. He is quirky, and silly, and a delight to have around. He is also very stubborn (God knew he would be). He was born quite small, but perfect in every way!]